Is there any stretch of resemblance? Does it even matter?
And who do we lobby?
Ima Lazy Sod-uh!
Hey schmonkies. Thanks for checking back periodically- I promise I'm still alive, and I probably spend just as much time at my computer as before- sadly enough. I just haven't had much to share! I've been really creative and having a lot of fun being all intense and Floreedoree and dog owneree (tho I'm still hardcore cat) and nearly-Missus-Studly-British-Beauee (I'm waiting to see how long it takes him to protest my billboard o'love up there...) and I've been hanging with my mumsie, who is still the most beautiful woman in the waaaaarrrrrrlllld. And I've still been downloading crap music on iTunes and buying dresses and reading-reading-reading. And eating too much ice cream. Probably. Anyway- point being, I hope to start posting semi-regularly again. Whenever the spirit shoves me. Eh? Eh. In the meantime, check out my hot poetry selections off to the side. Those are the books I've been devouring this winter. Books. Devouring. If you want to read some hot verse... Also, if you want to work on a James Tate Mad Libs with me, email posthaste. Seriously!
Odd and Ends
It's been cold here recently. I'm waiting for the first time I can use the phrase "it's snowing in Florida" without snickering at some bra-strap-baring chick. I probably won't get to say it this week, but let me tell you I've been forced out of flip-flops and into real shoes twice this week. And I was at the dog park this morning with Elizabeth Shue and my mother calls. "I'm a Kohl's," she says. "They have sweaters on sale. Let me bring you one." My mother is so lovely.
Friends in colder parts of the country, I can totally relate! But totally. Mehehe.
Other than weather forecasts, this is probably the weirdest thing I've read in a while:
“We have 1,500 aboveground residents,” Mayor Helen Fisicaro said, “and 1.5 million underground.”
Property in Colma, CA is hot stuff. You dig? ...Um, if so, you'd never starve! (Ba-da-boom!)
On the town website, the description mentions the 73 percent land area/burial ground as more of an aside. Whole paragraphs, in fact, after the small-town appeal to visitors, the demographic breakdown, the bocce ball court, and the monthly newsletter.
I wub you, America.
elimae November
The latest elimae is hot off the press- I highly recommend toggling over to see what's new for November. Cooper Renner does a great job collecting intriguing, playful works- some of which are experimental in-a-good-way. Muy elegante! An enriching half hour of your time.
My Dog Looks Like Elizabeth Shue
Grist
Thank you, my dear Brat, for giving me something to post! Other than this meme, the latest news is that I became CPR certified today (I'm training to teach Silver Sneakers- a Cool Old People exercise class), I am about to acquire a cocker spaniel, and I haven't gotten nearly enough sleep in the past few days. Photos of most of that will come shortly, I'm sure.
Movie Soundtrack Meme
The soundtrack of your life:
"So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/Random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button"
How embarrassing can this be?
Opening Credits: Halou covering the Cocteau Twins' Half-Gifts. Would I watch a film with this song as the opening? Only if it featured beautiful half-naked people being glamorous at a wintry party in Stockholm.
Waking Up: Eros covering the Beatles' Let It Be. This is such an... urban wake-up song. Like the first thing I'd do is pop down to the first floor of my walk-up- a Starbucks- grab a latte and strap-on my iPod. I'd have an afro and I'd be wearing velvety red Adidas Gazelles.
First Day At School: Smashing Pumpkins covering David Essex's Rock On. This is so funny. I'd be high school goth. My fingernails would be black. I'd be glaring at my teachers. "That's so lame," I'd say. In a film, this song would be playing as yellow school buses pulled into a brickhouse suburban high school.
Falling In Love: Brian Eno/David Byrne doing a freaking original (we had to hit one eventually!)- Miss America. I really love this song because it reminds me of James Spader? No idea.
Breaking Up: Goldfrapp's Number One. A really pathetic choice, given the lyrics. "Cos you're my number one. I'm like a dog to get you. Yeah yeah yeah yeah."
Prom: Black Box Recorder's Start As You Mean To Go On. Not exactly prom-y. Do-over?? Please? I did not go to my prom. I ate dinner with people who were going to the prom and then hung out in... Starbucks for the rest of the night. Probably playing Mad Libs and eating Turkish Delight, I shit you not.
Life's Okay: The last song SO would have made better sense for this one. The song I got? CCR's Run Through The Jungle. That's right, friends. When the going gets tough, I remember 'Nam.
Mental Breakdown: (I swear my songs are coming up one-off!) The White Stripes' There's No Home For You Here. The harmonious scream at the beginning kinda makes sense here. And the way all the lyrics flow together. Like someone running their fingers over a canvas covered in wet paint. Breakdown-y enough, sure.
Driving: David Bowie covering the Beatles' Across the Universe. This song got me through age 13. But if I were listening to it while driving, I would seriously start coloring outside the lines. I'd fall asleep at the wheel with a smile on my face. And I'd probably have an afro and velvety red Adidas Gazelles in this scene, as well.
Flashback: Ha! I don't know what kinda "flashback" I'd be having to this one: The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra's The Godfather (Waltz).
Getting Back Together: Abba's Knowing Me, Knowing You. If I'm supposed to be getting back together with someone, this is the wrong song. But I love singing along with this. "Knowing me, knowing you- uh-huuuuuuuh!"
Wedding: Jonathan Richman's True Love Is Not Nice. Yikes. What kind of dress would I be wearing to make this one work?
Birth Of Child: Pulp's Seductive Barry. Whatever! Ha! My children will NOT coming out swinging.
Final Battle: Expensive Suits covering Jane's Addiction's Classic Girl. Apparently my final battle is very chill. It's a battle of wits. My opponent sits across from me- between us stands a glass table with a Scrabble board. My opponent is wearing velvety blue Adidas Gazelles. Is working the mullet-sidesweep. Probably smells like vintage polyester BO. We're staring at each other, but we're wearing very dark sunglasses. Someone knocks the Scrabble board off the table and pieces go flying. Very bloody battle, indeed.
Death Scene: The Eels' Efil's God. Bit freaky for a death scene, but I'd take it. Instead of a coffin I'd be buried on a waterbed. It'd be a sexy death.
Funeral Scene: Buffalo Springfield's For What It's Worth. Everybody looks what's going down? A body! On a waterbed!
Sex Scene: Wow- who wrote this meme? Is this necro or wot? My very unsexy sex scene involves Joni Mitchell. Songs to Aging Children Come, specifically. I love this song- this is the one for the funeral scene.
Dance Sequence: (You can't possibly know how scared I am to shuffle on to this track...) -Portishead's Sour Times. Well... I suppose in a world where everyone wears black turtlenecks and plays spoons...
End Credits: Short and sweet, I s'pose. Sparklehorse's Gasoline Horseys.
Sequel Clue: This one came on after, and I thought it fitting: Slumber Party's New Trouble.
Let me know if you do this meme cos I wanna see something worse than my cover songs fetish and the Brat's Olivia Newton-John!
Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
I've been out and a-boot, enjoying the weather. Florida is... sunny. Like they say.
I wish I had more to report. I've been reading a lot of Ben Jonson these past few days. There's a silly affinity, given sooner than later I will share a name with the man. He was a fan of the classics (as if he would have been a fan of anything but, right?), and he was mighty handsome. Mmm-mmm-mmm. Dead poets.
In other news, my favorite boxerly-named stripper has a pro-fess-ion-al blog, and I encourage all to check out, and comment upon, his musings. And gawk unabashedly at the adorable little sidebar photo. Evan- you're so cute without your hands in your face!
I hope you're all holding up in your respective necks of the woods. Drop me a line and make me smile!
Tinkering
Bear with me, y'all. I'm playing around with the banner and colors- the banner photos are of my great-grandmother, Gertrude. (Gertrude Mercedes, if you must know.) We can break a bottle of champagne once I've settled into a routine again!
Empathy Garlic?
Seriously, guys- thanks to the average'o'seven visitors who remained faithful each day these past few weeks! Because I sure didn't. I'll be bopping around your blogs soon- as for this afternoon, I'll take mi amore to the airport and go straight to work, where I'll cry on the shoulders of anyone who'll listen...
This is a photo from yesterday. Call us the reluctant cheesers!
How Do You Like Your Blue-Eyed Boy?
Briefly, before I go to bed and wake up on the day mi amore comes to be with me in Tampa:
A very touching video (scroll down, look left) at the NYT about a farmer from Kansas and his beautiful sweetheart of a son. For anyone who romanticized the Great Plains to themselves after reading Kerouac (which, if you were ever 18 years-old...) or Carl Sandburg, this will make you go gooey and sentimental and start scouring Craigslistings in Des Moines and Cheyenne.
PS- many thanks to those who sent fake church signs. What is blogging without cheap shots? You're all hee-larious.
Kisses everyone! I'll be reading you/posting here when I can. Auf wiederschreiben!
